Six Illusions
by flower mirage
Summary: How long will it take for Kanda to understand? KandaAllen
1. Chapter 1

_**...ok, let's see how I do with multi-chapter fics. And let's see if I manage to make this **_**at least **_**shonen-ai scented.**_

_**D. Gray-Man ain't mine. How I wish Kanda was, though...**_

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**Six Illusions**

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First Illusion

It was hard not to love the white-haired ball of joy from the Dark Order. Such a sweet, caring boy in that enviroment seemed almost out of place, but he couldn't see himself anywhere else. Helping others, even if it meant risking his life, was natural in him and failing them was his greatest worry and fear.

Naturally, everyone got fond of him, and just having him close, smiling, made you feel the world had more hope than before. But his selflessness sometimes became too much for some, and they ended up scowling the boy for not taking better care of himself and being so self-sacrificing. And after watching the guilty look in his face, they suddenly regretted being so hard on him. After all, it was in his nature to be like that. That's how Allen was and no one wanted to change that.

And no matter how much it irked him, neither did Kanda. That little fact was eating the samurai alive and he didn't know why.

"Just admit for _once_ that you care about him", a soft voice spoke to him.

"Tch. And _why_ would I do that?"

"Simple, my dear Kanda," Linali explained with a smile on her pretty face, "Just for the simple reason that I'm getting _really_ tired of you staring at him with those eyes that seem to want to eat him." A small laugh escaped her lips. "In what meaning of the word, I'm still not sure."

The intense glare directed at her seemed to be ignored by the young woman, so his gaze once again drifted to another table.

At the other side of the dining hall, blisfully unaware of a pair of intense blue eyes drilling through him, Allen Walker was happily eating his plates clean, while in front of him Lavi was chatting about something that quite frankly, Kanda didn't care about. _'Moyashi isn't even listening, is he?'_ The boy was nooding and smiling between bites, sometimes laughing a little - it made Kanda want to be the one to make Allen laugh like that since it sounded so _nice. 'Nice?' _But he could tell the boy was much more interested in the food in front of him.

"You aren't even listening, are you?"

Kanda snapped himself out of a trance he didn't even know he was in. He briefly wondered if Linali would tease him about this now. And not wanting to further make a fool of himself, he replied with his usual, you-won't- know-what-it-means _tch_.

The young girl simply gave a small sigh. "Alright. Since your mind was surely somewhere else, I'll repeat myself: do you think my brother would let me date Allen?"

And as soon as those words came out and processed themselves in his brain, Kanda wondered just how far their semi-conversation had turned while his mind was occupied with other thoughts for Linali to ask him something like that. But his answer came quickly, so much that he didn't even had time to stop it.

"I don't want you to date him."

And just like that, both their eyes went wide - Kanda's barely, but still they showed surprise - by his answer,neither believing what had come off from the exorcist's mouth.

_'I can't believe I said that! What is wrong with me?!' _

Very quickly, Kanda looked for an excuse for his rushed answer. He just hoped his face wouldn't betray him.

"You should know Komui better than anyone here. You know he wouldn't and neither would I. He's just a cursed bean-sprout after all. What's so special about him?" In the back of his mind, Kanda knew that his last question was directed to himself._ 'What indeed.'_ He completely ignored the fact that he sounded like a jealous boyfriend as well.

Linali was giving him a questioning look when he turned to her. And just like that, her mouth slowly curved, forming a knowing smirk that made Kanda nervous for some reason.

"What's that look for?"

Her look quickly turned innocent. "What look?"

Kanda simply grunted. Allowing this girl to sit with him was asking for a hard time. He knew it but still didn't opposed. Turning his attention to his food, he wasn't surprised to find it midly cold. _'I'm not that hungry anyway.' _

Getting up to leave, he was stopped by a simple statement. "You know Kanda, I don't think Allen would accept it either way. I'm pretty sure someone else has caught his attention already."

The swordsman slightly turned his head to see the girl. She was wearing a smile that made him know she wasn't at all sad to have Allen like someone else - and that she was happy about it.

_'Strange...is she friends with that person?'_ The little voice that was screaming to know that person's name was roughly pushed aside. _'Tch. What do I care?'_

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_**that's all I'm saying**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Woot! First update of the year. A new accomplishment.**_

_**D. Gray-Man ain't mine. Changes would have been made **_**long**_**time ago.**_

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**Six Illusions**

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Second Illusion

Even though Lavi was happily talking with Allen while the boy ate - he knew he was being ignored completely when Allen spotted his favorite dish - the red head kept narrating about his latest mission in this little village with _a lot_ of beautiful girls-

"But they were all so young! It was hardly fair. Might as well ask you out. But Yuu-chan would kill me if I do, right? He's gonna be such an over-protective boyfriend one day. But with someone as cute as you by his side, I can't blame him", he finished with a smile, waiting for his companion's hopefully scandalized reaction. And it came. Poor Allen was chocking on a rather big piece of meat - big for Lavi at least.

The older exorcist calmly place a tall glass of water in front of the chocking boy, which he quickly grabbed and finished in one big gulp. How Allen didn't choke while doing that, Lavi couldn't figure out. But at least the boy had stopped coughing.

"Lavi! Don't take advantage of poor Allen like that!" The order was followed by a pair of fingers painfully pulling at his ear. Linali knew Lavi hated when she did that.

"Okay, okay! Ow! Let go! Linali!"

The girl smiled, still pulling the red head's ear. "Apologize to Allen. Then I'll let go." When she finished, she pulled a little harder.

"I'm sorry, Allen! Linali, that hurts!" And she let go.

Pleased with herself, she sat next to the now pouting exorcist who was rubbing his abused ear. The first thing she noticed was the interesting shade of red present in the white-haired boy's face. She really hope it wasn't because of the chocking.

"So, Allen, what did this guy say to make you react like that. Don't tell me you choked on your own."

The young boy looked at her with wide eyes. Then Linali noticed his face turning even more red. _'Please, let it be what I think it is. Please!'_

"Eh, well, he said... I mean, I thought he meant... he said something..." When the boy realized he didn't know how to phrase what his friend had said, he gave up in trying to come up with an answer. Thankfully - or _un-_thankfully - Lavi came to his young friend's rescue, in his way.

"He got all red and embarrased because I said that Yuu-chan would make an over-protective boyfriend. Shouldn't come as a surprise, though. I mean, he's over-protective of him now, I saw him looking over here earlier, so imagine when they-"

"Kanda's not over-protective of me!" Allen shouted without even thinking. That doesn't mean he noticed. " He's cold and arrogant and doesn't care about anyone." Then he remembered a mission dilling with a doll. "Well, most of the time he is."

_'Actually...I guess he's not heartless. I mean, he's here helping people. And he _does _show concern...in his own way, but still...'_

That look on his face...Lavi couldn't help asking."Allen...what are you smiling about?"

The boy shook himself off. He was smiling?_'Not good'._ The grin on Linali's face asured him of something: he was going to regret waking up that day.

---

Sitting on his bed, Kanda was facing his lotus. He didn't want to even glance at the bottom. There were still many petals left. And he imagine each of those petals falling one by one.

_'Why do I do this to myself?'_

Getting up, he decided to go outside and train.

When he opened the door, he saw three people - none he wanted to see right now, and specially not together- walking around the hall. One of them - the red head - seemed to hear the sound of a door opening and when his head started to turn toward his door, Kanda shut it without a second thought, of course, careful not to do it to loud, either.

_'I can always train in my room.'_

Then he saw the flower. And scowled.

_'I'll just move it to the corner and cover it with something.'_

He was pretty sure if his _friends _ knew he was scared - yes, he admits he's scared, that he would be a fool if he went out his room and into their clutches because he would be _doom _- they would laugh. Hard.

_'Even Moyashi would'_

After a while he didn't even noticed that the lotus was in plane view, simply because a smiling face was filling his thoughts.

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_**...that was so horrible...and soooo OOC...**_

_**You can tell I'm making this up as I go, right? And that I'm bored.**_

_**Happy New Year's everyone!!**_


End file.
